Forgiveness is a commitment to change

When someone hurts us deeply, it is not easy to forgive the person. It is common for our minds to be filled with anger and revengeful thoughts. However, such thoughts only harm us further. Forgiveness involves letting go of such thoughts. This may be easier said than done because depending on one’s personality and destiny with the other person, the ability to forgive itself may be compromised. To be really free from the karma of an incident one needs to be able to truly forgive, which includes forgetting the incident itself. This can only happen if one makes concerted efforts in spiritual practice. 1. Introduction to forgiveness Letting go of anger and grudges has apparent benefits for one’s peace of mind and well-being. However, is the old adage to forgive and forget really possible? Forgive we can understand, but ‘forget’; is it wise to forget? In this context, we may have heard the saying – ‘Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it’ which also means ‘Those who do not remember their past are condemned to repeat their mistakes’. So, what does it really mean to forgive and is it prudent to forget? 2. Definition of forgiveness The topic of forgiveness and its merits at a psycho-physical level have been discussed extensively and can mean different things to different people. On the definition of true forgiveness, however, there has been much debate over whether it also requires positive feelings towards the offender. Most experts, however, agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings such as thoughts of indignation, anger, hate, revenge, and resentment. It also includes letting go of expectations that the other person should apologize. As with anything, to have a robust and holistic definition, it is important to look at it not only from a physical or psychological perspective but also from a spiritual perspective. This is because a large proportion of the events (good or bad) that happen in our lives are dictated by the karma or destiny we have to undergo. Negative karma or destiny is a spiritual problem. This, therefore, means that most of the significant events that take place in our lives, where we feel we have been aggrieved and we need to forgive to move on, are usually karma-related. 3. Gaining a deeper insight into the concept of forgiveness To understand the concept of forgiveness from a spiritual perspective, first, we need to understand the concept of karma or destiny. The source of the knowledge is from various sacred texts and further clarification has been obtained through spiritual research using advanced sixth sense. We are all born with a certain amount of destiny. Destiny is that part of our lives that is not within our control. Based on the impact of our actions from previous lives, our lives are full of destined events that will decide the units of happiness or suffering we have to undergo. This is based on merits and demits accrued from previous lives. In the current era, approximately 65% of the events in our lives are destined, while 35% of life will be as per our free will. All major life events like marriage, good and bad relationships, accidents, and major illnesses are mostly caused by one’s destiny. Therefore, the suffering and pain that needs to be undergone due to destiny often play out through such events. The people that give us the maximum pain or happiness in our lives are also mostly doing so as they could be settling accounts from previous lifetimes. Our mind is defined as the seat of our feelings and emotions. It is made up of the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind is small in comparison, it is part of our mind that we are aware of. The subconscious mind on the other hand is something we have little awareness and understanding of, yet it is one that heavily influences the conscious mind. It contains millions of impressions that define our personality traits, along with our qualities and defects. All impressions of destined events are also stored in our subconscious minds grouped under a subtle center known as the give-and-take account center. The give-and-take account center despite our intellect makes us act according to how the karmic account is between two people.